I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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