I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
