I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
