Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
