i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How external is "for external use only"?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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