he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
