the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
