what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
