my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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