The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
