...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
