i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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