his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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