Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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