If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
