True but thats because hes a fetus.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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