You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
