it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
he quoted the bible to break up with me
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
