I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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