Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
