I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
