we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
