Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
