This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
