her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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