You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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