We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
