i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You can't special order awesome
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
