We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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