I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
