I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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