i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
