so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
