I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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