My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
