I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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