I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
