you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
