there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
