Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
