great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
