The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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