no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
