just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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