i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
