why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
