i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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