yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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