I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
