I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
