I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
