Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
