last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
